


I Feel The Reason As It's Leaving Me, No, Not Again

by ElizabethDionne



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Robin (Comics), Robin (Comics)
Genre: AU, Damian Wayne X Reader - Freeform, F/M, Tim Drake X Reader - Freeform, Weird Plot Shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-03 16:15:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17287322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElizabethDionne/pseuds/ElizabethDionne
Summary: So.  Another chapter.  This is probably going to be a few chapters longer till it'll end because I have no time for a full length story with school and winter guard and concerts and a solo I haven't practiced at all and have to memorize so yeah.  Once school starts next week(i think it's next week) there won't be too many updates of anything.  But I hope you liked this chapter and after I finish the story I'll be working on another and then go back to posting one shots.





	1. One

Barely any control.  Night after night, I take a front row seat to my own horror movie, with my hands as the star of the show and guest stars of people and blood.  And I can’t control it. I can’t stop it. I can only watch helplessly as it all happens right in front of me.

And the worst part is, I like it.  

Somewhere, somehow, deep inside me, there is a love for this.  For watching the victims struggle and squirm helplessly, as their blood pools around them and the life drains from their eyes slowly.  It’s sick but I can’t stop. Nothing anyone says or does can stop me when I get like that.

Crows.  They’ve always been my favorite animals.  Ever since I was born. My parents didn’t understand my obsession with them.  And neither did I, at the time. I, just like everyone else, assumed it was natural for someone to love an animal to the point I did.  Maybe if someone had thought about it, all this could have been avoided.

A murder of crows.  That’s what the boss calls us.  I’ve never really thought to ask why, even though it’s blatantly obvious to everyone else.  I guess it has something to do with the hunting and eating pattern. Crows are omnivores, meaning everything is food if they can kill it.  And while we may not eat our victims, we do kill who we can- usually people on the small side most days, and if we’re feeling particularly adventurous that night, we have a competition to see who can get the biggest person and then we bring them all back to the boss, or King Crow.  Those are the nights I excel.

Tonight was also one of those nights.  Everyone had split up all over Gotham, in search of our victims.  Tonight, we weren’t under any pressure to catch someone. It was a free night, and if we did catch someone, then it was extra points to them and one more murder under their belt.  They also got in good with King Crow, getting to eat nuts and berries and maybe even meat while the rest ate bugs and amphibious animals. I was tired of fish and wanted something else.  So tonight was spent watching for the hardest to catch prey of all- Batman and Robin.

Since Crows will eat anything if they can catch it, it’s not above them to eat other birds, including Robins and maybe even Bats.

I pulled off my black cloak, complete with purplish black feathers covering the entire thing, and spread out my large black wings a bit before furling them back behind me, donning my black bird mask **(** **think** **masquerade mask but with a beak)**.  Walking over to the window, I let myself fall out of the tall building, spreading my wings out at the last minute before soaring over Gotham.

I was liked most by King Crow but he didn’t show it around the others.  I was his pride and joy, the others wings didn’t come in the way they were supposed to so they have to rely on fake, metal ones.  After hours during the day, he’ll come to visit me in my room and give me treats, but not all the time will he do that. Sometimes he’ll come in just to say he’s proud of me and then leave, and there are other times he’ll slip a note under the door.

Tonight must have been my lucky day, for in only a few minutes of flying back and forth over the city, I see them.  Bats and his little pet birdy. I tuck my wings in close and dive bomb them as they swing to the next rooftop, grabbing the little bird and flying back up into the sky before Bats can even react.  

The bird however, fights back, scratching and clawing, using a metal R shaped blade to do anything he can to get out of my grip.  Well, if he wants to play it that way then.

I’m well above the clouds by now, flapping my wings to stay in that one spot, when I decide I get tired of his constant wiggling and drop him.

He screams on the way down, flaps his arms, and a second goes by when I feel guilty and dive down, catching him in my arms before he hits the rooftop of the building, him starting to struggle in my arms again, this time biting and kicking and punching me.  But I’ve caught stronger prey and survived.

I fly back to the tower, the little bird still a huge ball of rage and fight, now yelling about where we are to nowhere seemingly.  Probably the little metal piece I saw in his ear.

King Crow welcomes us back and I say nothing, dropping the little bird on the ground and nodding my head towards him.

“Oh my word.  This is an excellent catch you’ve got.  I don’t think we will be murdering this one.  I’ve got something planned for this one.” You knew exactly what he meant.  Little bird would undergo the same procedure you did, and your fellow Crows did.  He be getting his own pair of wings.

“Take him to the room.  Strip him of everything.  Make sure there’s nothing left on him.  We wouldn’t want someone showing up and interrupting, now would we.” The guards drag him away, flying up in the air to get there faster, not wanting to waste precious time or face King’s punishment.

“You my dear, I have a very special task for you.” He pet my head, removing my black and purple headdress, soothing down my hair.  I nuzzled my head into his hand affectionately as he told me my part in this. “Do you think you can handle that alone?” I nodded and he smiled, placing the headdress back on my head. “That’s why you’re my favorite.  Now go, we don’t have a lot of time.” I flew up and towards the room. My job was to make sure the process went quickly.

The way it works is scientists combine all of your DNA with that of a birds, that way the wings will grow.  If that happens, and the wings are deemed good, then they’re officially part of the group. If not, then they end up like the rest of the murder.  The bird DNA didn’t take to theirs as required, and they ended up with twisted, bony, horrible looking wing stubs sticking out of their backs that the doctors standing by had to amputate.  They have to mentalities of a bird, but rely on a machine to fly around. Not everyone ends up that way. It just so happens that Crow DNA is especially finicky for some reason.

In the room, Little Bird is giving the nurses a hell of a time, kicking and punching and doing everything he can to keep them away.  The only way to get him stripped is with him conscious, that way everything bonds easier. However, he is injected with painkillers beforehand, to make the whole wings growing out of his back process gentler.

I push open the door and walk in, causing him to pause his struggles in order to stare at me.

“What are you?” I cock my head to the side, not saying anything as I’ve been instructed long ago.  Crows are not to talk in the presence of strangers.

I walk right up to him and unbuckle his belt, dropping it on the floor.  He’s being strangely calm and it’s creeping me out. A tiny bit. It’s probably cause of my gaze.  Birds of any kind have an insane skill to hold the eye contact and cease movement, having no choice but to stare back, captivated.

I continue removing everything from his body, including his mask, managing to get everything but his pants and boots off **(is his costume a two piece? I’ve always wondered)** before he starts to struggle again, breaking eye contact with me after realizing what happened.

I grab his arms, my wings wrapping around his legs, giving the nurses time to get his boots and pants off.  I remove the little metal earpiece and hand it to a stray nurse as four others wrestle his underwear off **(extraordinarily strange question, but would Damian wear boxers or briefs or boxer-briefs? Sorry for all these, but i am genuinely curious now)** and shove him into a hospital gown after a quick but thorough inspection for spyware, among other things..

I walked him through a metal detector and into the next room, where the actual mutation would take place.  In this room, the person was strapped with chains to a mostly backless chair where they faced a giant tv that erased any thought of the outside world and brainwashed them into being a mostly obedient bird.  Of course, some people had to learn through punishment but everyone eventually did learn and were brainwashed.

It took a few minutes but I eventually did wrestle him into the chair and the nurses got the straps done while held him down.  I stepped back and they were done, crossing from the back of the chair to the front to look at his face as the doctors stick the many needles and tubes and sciencey stuff into Little Bird.

“No!” He yells out trying to struggle but the binds strapping his arms and legs down are too tight.  I’ve never seen someone struggle as much as he has and to be honest, it’s a little worrying. Because he seems to be an okay person and if he screws up even one needle or tube or one of the various misc. objects, then the bonding process will be screwed up and his wings won’t grow right.

I walk closer to him and place my hand on the top of his head, petting him to help soothe him, and it kind of works, he struggles less and less until he isn’t at all.  I continue to pet him while the doctors work, keeping Little Bird calm. Sadly, whether he’ll stay this way while the dna is being injected and mass bonded to every cell in his body, I don’t know.  I can’t stay in here while it’s happening for it could put my wings and perfected genetic makeup at risk.

The way the mass bonding works, is there’s a giant MRI looking machine behind the chair, and “blows” out controlled radiation until the dna is bonded to every cell in his body.  It’s really impressive, but sadly people don’t think that. They called King Crow a freak when he tested it and grew wings. But they won’t anymore. They’ll see.

The doctors all leave, my sign to get out and go to the otherside of the glass before they start the injecting and bonding process.

“Good bye, Little Bird.  See you on the other side.” I bent down and whispered in his ear before leaving him.

I stand on the other side of the glass, watching as they start and brainwash Little Bird.  The process goes smoothly, once he was brainwashed, he didn’t fight it at all. Soon I start to see the wings growing out of his back.  They’re not black, instead they’re brown, like a robins.

The process ends, his wings fully grown and perfect looking, and I walk back in once all the radiation is out, unhooking him from everything and walking him to the lab, where they’ll run some tests to make sure everything is okay and they don’t have to amputate.

It takes a few minutes, but eventually he is cleared and given something to wear and a cloak with a gradient of dark grey to dark brown feathers on it in the back, and some warm orange and white with black spot mixed in where the sides meet in the front, a juvenile cloak, since he’s not done growing, neither are his wings.  Little Bird doesn’t know what to do with it so I show him while we wait. How he should tuck his wings and then put the cloak on.

I watch him struggle to get the front done and swat his hands away, snapping the two pieces together and standing back.  All of a sudden, a loud rumble is heard and the building shakes. I take my sword out of its sheath, holding it up in a defensive position and standing in front of Little Bird, ready to protect him at all costs.

Screaming is heard outside and I look back behind me, seeing Little Bird in a defensive position as well.  The door bursts open and I quickly face forward again, seeing the Bat and a man in a black skin tight suit with a giant, bird shape on it.

“Let him go and I won’t hurt you.” Blue says, holding up two black sticks with electricity buzzing at the ends.

I shake my head no.  I either die by his hand or I kill him protecting Little Bird.  If I’m still alive after fighting him and I didn’t win, King Crow will punish me, favorite or not.

“I can’t.” Breaking the rules a second time, I stand my ground, Little Bird behind me.

“Grayson, don’t hurt her.  Please.” Obviously the brainwashing didn’t work and he was playing along the entire time.  But why?

“She kidnapped you and they performed illegal genetic experiments on you, and you’re telling me not to hurt her?  What the fuck did they do to you?” He asks, disbelief in his voice.

“It was part of the plan.  One of us would be kidnapped by a crow and taken here where we would take them down from the inside.  Only thing is, the plan moved quicker than it should have and now we’re here.” The Bat said.

I narrowed my eyes, looking back at Little Bird and eyeing him.  Then turning to look back at the others just in time for a kick straight to face.  I fell to the ground, feeling blood drip down my face and pieces of my mask shatter and fall away.  I yank it off, enraged and stand back up, my sword held in my hands firmly and ready to fight. Blue turns to me and gasps.

“Oh my god.  Batman,” blue called out and he looked at me, adopting the same look on his face as blue, which makes Little Bird look but he doesn’t understand for a moment until something seems to click in his brain.

“Is that-”

“Yes, it is.  Ash, please. Put the sword down.” A violent pain stabbed through my head at the words blue spoke and I shook my head to clear it, but it didn’t go away, it got worse.  I dropped the sword and grabbed my head with both hands, tears streaming down my cheeks from the intense pressure in my skull. Blue ran over and tried to grab me, but I swatted him away with a wing, throwing him across the room.  After all, he was the one that started it. Little bird got out of Bats hold and ran to me, grabbing me from the ground dragging me along. I followed. Because while he may have betrayed us, his new family, I still trusted him, which, in hindsight, may have been a mistake.  

The searing pain in my hand got worse with each step I took and I collapsed on the ground down the hall from the room, my wings curling around me to try and protect me from the beating that was sure to come from King Crow.

“We don’t have time for this.” Bats said and picked me up walking quickly down the hall, the searing pain getting worse the longer I was with him until it felt like something exploded in my head and it just stopped, causing me to fall limp in his arms and pass out.

I awoke, what seemed like minutes later, lying down on a flat, hard mattress while someone performed various tests on me.

“Ah, Miss Ash, you’re awake now.  I shall go inform the others.” An old man I vaguely remember as being named Alfred said, putting down the clipboard he was writing on and walked over to the door, opening it and saying something.

In no time at all, what seemed like twenty million people rushed in and bombarded me with questions, when in reality it was only two talking and one silently shutting the door, completely ignoring the other person on a bed in the room in favor of talking to me.

“Okay guys, let’s not scare her off on her first day back.  One thing at time for god's sake.” Alfred came to the rescue, silencing all the boys effectively.

“How are you feeling?” Bruce asked before anyone else could say anything.

“Fine, I think.  Except for my conscience and the slow pounding ache in my head, I feel fine.”

“An effect of the hypnosis wearing off, I presume?” Alfred asked, and I nodded my head yes.

“What about you Damian?” I turned to boy curled up in the blankets.

“I’m a freak.  I have wings and I’m human and I’m a freak of nature.” I curled my wings closely to my back and stood up.  

“I need to go somewhere.  I’ll be back in a bit.” I stood, and, ignoring Alfred's protests that he wasn’t done, I left the room, trying to navigate my way out of the massive cave.  I managed to find the stairs going up, exiting through a grandfather clock and wandered my way through the halls, somehow finding the door, and flying away from the sprawling manor.  It was a clear night, no clouds in front of the moon and I fly straight up, getting up to the jet stream and and zooming along towards my destination.


	2. Two

As I get closer to the tower, the place I used to call home, I fly lower, aiming straight for my rooms window.

I get in, seeing it the same as when I left, spotting my cloak discarded on the ground in my rush to get out.  Picking it up, I eye it, looking for the tracker I know is on it. I yank it off and drop it on the ground, smashing it with my foot.  Looking around, I spot my necklace, the one thing I had from before I got my wings. I picked it up and smiled, stuffing it in a hidden pocket and flying back out, this time towards Gotham.  Old habits die hard, and I spend the rest of the night sitting on a rooftop watching as criminals pass by and inebriated people leave the bar. I follow a couple, a bad feeling settling in my gut as I watch the girl wobble and nearly trip, using the man to steady herself as they both laugh.  But there’s something in his eyes, a look that only appears when someone has found their prey. And instantly, I know, he’s not her boyfriend. He’s going to rape her. I leave my cloak on the rooftop and swoop down, knocking him away from the girl and pulling her up with me, back onto the rooftop where my cloak was.  She looks scared, until she sees my eyes, and she seems to calm down a bit.

“Where’s your house at?” I ask her calmly.

“It’s just down the street.  Why? That man was walking me home?” I shake my head.

“He was going to rape you.  He slipped something in your drink in the bar.  I saw him. I’ve been following ya’ll waiting for the right chance to step in.” A little white lie won’t hurt if it’s for the right reasons.

“Oh.  Can you take me home then?” She asks.

“Yes but right after I take care of him.  Now, stay right here, and whatever you do, don’t look over the edge of the building.” I employ a little encouragement technique I learned from King Crow.  After all, I don’t need her seeing what’s about to happen. I fly down to the ground and tackle the man as he walks back to the bar, probably to get another victim.  He never sees or hears me coming as I wrap my wings around him and drag him into the alley, snapping his neck in one fluid motion.

I fly back up to the rooftop. “Let’s go now.” I pick up the woman bridal style and carry her to her apartment building, stepping into the elevator with her and riding up to her floor.  I set her down on her feet and she unlocks the door and stumbles in. 

“Thank you sooo much.” She turns around, but I’m already gone, the door shut and her confused.

Back on the rooftop, I pick up my cloak and dust it off, having collected some dirt on it from laid down there.  I fly back to the manor, sure that they’re worried about where I am. And I’m correct. The minute I’m on the ground outside the doors, they’re burst open and Tim runs out, pulling me into a tight hug that I return.

“You’re back.  I’m so glad you’re back.  I came down the minute I heard you were back here.” Tim says pulling back to look at me then quickly hugging me again.  I smile and wrap my wings around him, shielding us from the eyes of the birds in the trees. The owls will gossip about this to no end and then the crows will hear about their taunts and it’ll be all out war.

“Let’s get inside.  It’s kind of chilly and you’re wearing very ‘thin’ clothing.” Tim said and pulled me inside, shutting the door firmly behind me.  I’ve had wings ever since I was young, having been captured by King Crow and experimented on at a young age. After I got them, he’d given me a necklace and told me to where it all times, then sent me back here where I lived at the time.  Bruce had adopted me when I was really young, I was only one when I started living here. It was when I was nine that Tim saw me walking down the street and came over to talk to me, finding out I lived in the manor next to his. That day marked the start of our friendship.  It was four years later when I had to disappear. Me and Tim were sparring in the cave, he’d just become Robin and I already knew of Bruce being Batman, and he’d been giving me lessons on how to defend myself. 

I was winning, as usual, when Tim grabbed my necklace, ripping it off accidentally in an attempt to get me closer to him so he could grab me, exposing my wings to him.

“What the fuck?” He asked backing away, dropping my necklace on the ground.  I picked it up and tried to approach him but he just continued backing away from me.  Hurt, I ran away and out of the gates of Wayne manor, where a black car with Kind Crow was waiting.  

“It’s time to go home.” He said and hugged me, accepting me and I accepted him, climbing in as Tim ran out the gates, just in time to see us drive off.

“I’m so sorry about that day.” He said when we were in inside.

“It’s fine.  You were scared and didn’t know how to react to it.  I understand Tim.” He shook his head, disappointed in himself and feeling guilty about all of this happening.

“That was still no excuse.  I should have accepted you anyways.  And because of that, you went back to him and all this happened and it’s all my fault.” Tim said, looking away, about to stalk off to his room but you stopped him.

“Tim.  Look at me,” you grabbed his chin and faced his head towards you,” none of this is your fault.  King Crow would have come and found me anyways. It was just that I found him first. This all would have happened eventually.  Okay. It’s not your fault.” You whispered the last sentence in his ear as you hugged him again.

His arms found your waist and I tucked my wings in close to my back, both of us staying that way until someone cleared their throat and the two of us seperated.

“What, no hug for your oldest brother?” I smiled, walking over and hugging Dick, the brother I was closest to, seeing as he was always around when I was growing up.

“It’s been so long.” He said into your hair.

“I know.  13 loooong years.” I said, my words muffled by his chest.

“You guys are hogging all the hugs,” a whiny voice said from the background and you grinned, your absolute favorite brother was back from the grave.

You let go of Dick and hugged Jason tightly, wrapping your wings around him.  He smiled and hugged you back just as tightly.

When you let go however, he ran.

“Oh no.  Get your ass back here Jason Todd.” You yelled taking off after him, catching him and tackling him.  

You rolled him over and slapped him on the face, one that made Tim and Dick wince at the sound of. “That’s for dying.  Don’t do it again.” You said and got off him, helping him up off the ground.

“Don’t plan on it, sweetheart.” Jason ruffled your hair and you narrowed your eyes at him, causing him to just laugh.

You reached in your pocket and pulled out the necklace.  You took your cloak from the hat rack standing by the door, fastening it in the front.

“So, now should we do?” You asked, bored already.

“Well, we should go down to the cave so Alfred can finish running tests on you but I think it’d be more fun to hang out.” Tim said with a smile, grabbing your hand and running up the stairs.

“Oh okay.” You said with a smile.

“Use protection!” Jason yelled and you and Dick both glared at him.

“They’re kids Jason,” Dick scolded him.

“They’re 26 Dick.  A lot older than you were your first time.” Jason retorted.

“As true as that may be, they’re still kids.” Dick said walking back to the cave.

Tim and Ash laid on Tim’s bed side by side.  Both silent, just soaking up the feeling of the other next to them.

“Hey, do you want to spare?” Tim asked suddenly and you grinned.

“I’m gonna kick your ass.” You jumped up and raced down to the cave, Tim following you.

It was only thirty seconds before you had Tim pinned to the mat, without the use of your wings.

“How the hell?” He questioned as you got off him and helped him up.

“I’m just that good.” I replied, getting into the fighting stance again.

“Whatever.  I think we should use bo staffs this time.” He said and you shrugged into agreement.  Tim walked over and grabbed two, tossing one to you and keeping one for himself. You twirled it around, getting used to the weighting of it.  It’s been a few years, but you got used to it quickly.

“Okay.  Best two out of three.  And go.” Dick said, staring at the computer, but he was the counter since the person that always says go gets an advantage over the other person.  This way it was fair. Dick was also the referee, keeping track of who won how many matches because both me and Tim were horrible at doing that and want the scores to be as accurate as possible.

Every single move from Tim was blocked by one by me, and everyone of my moves block by his.  There weren’t many things both of us were equally good at, but this was on of the few, seeing as we were pretty much trained by the same person- him by a few more than me- and we both sparred against each other all the time as kids, memorizing every angle of the other’s technique to try and get an advantage of them.  Sadly, that didn’t happen. We just got equally good, but we’re extremely competitive and neither of us could accept that. 

But these matches were different.  I guess we were just happy to have each other back.  I mean, I sure was. Whether he felt the same, I have no clue.  A scoff from behind me made turn, allowing Tim an opening to jab me in the gut, knock me down, and pin me.

“You should never turn you back on an opponent.” He said, helping me up.

“Yeah yeah.  Hey Damian, heads up.” I tossed the necklace to the depressed boy, the one who called himself and you a freak.

“It’s girly, I know, but I’m not willing to go back into King Crows lair to get you one of your own just yet.” He looked at the me confused.”Just put it on.  Make sure the pendant has direct contact with your skin.” He looked skeptical, but put it on, watching as his wings and any evidence they’d ever been there vanished.

“That way you can still have normal life.” I said, getting ready to fight Tim again.

“Good.” He said, and walked away, back to his normal, angry, inconsiderate self.

“Your welcome.” I mumbled under my breath, hearing Dick say go and me and Tim both moving at the same time blocking the others block.

“We really need to come up with different strategies or just find a new way of figuring out who’s better.” You said, the match again ending in a tie.

“Yeah.  How about video games?” He suggested, breathing normal even after you guys’ intense fights.

“Sure.  Right now.” You put the bo staff back with the rest and and ran up the stairs, again with Tim right behind you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Another chapter. This is probably going to be a few chapters longer till it'll end because I have no time for a full length story with school and winter guard and concerts and a solo I haven't practiced at all and have to memorize so yeah. Once school starts next week(i think it's next week) there won't be too many updates of anything. But I hope you liked this chapter and after I finish the story I'll be working on another and then go back to posting one shots.

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah. This one is a little strange. It was not inspired by a prompt. I was actually listening to 'Make Me Bad' by Korn and had read many X Readers where the superhero had wings. I think one of them, the reader was actually given wings as part of an experiment but I'm not sure. In whatever case, I was not trying to copy, so please know/realize that. But yeah, one of the stranger things I'd written but whatever. It was supposed to be posted yesterday but that didn't happen because I procrastinated the whole before actually starting to write. But I hope you like this one and don't forget to comment what you thought of it because I want feedback since I don't have a beta reader and never proofread.


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